Much has been written on the subject of negotiations. Books, tapes, and seminars abound, offering strategies, tactics, and gambits to help us all become "tough as nails negotiators" or showing us how to get what we want by outsmarting the other guy. As valuable as these messages can be in building our confidence and helping us to control the process, they also create an adversarial atmosphere that ultimately leads to winners and, of course, losers.

So often in business and in life people find themselves locked into what I call "single-issue negotiating." The most common single issue is money: "My price or yours." The competitive negotiator's mantra is "My way or the highway." In the end, this style is often a deal breaker characterized by each party defending immoveable, entrenched positions, or it leads to one-sided solutions that are doomed to eventually come unraveled because only one party has a vested interest in the outcome.

The most effective style of negotiating recognizes the importance of confidence and control but focuses on a collaborative approach to the process that is informed by the recognition that if you try to win the other party will try to beat you. The simple truth is that the more competitive you appear to be, the more competition you will get. The key is to seek collaborative solutions that will benefit both parties.

Creating collaborative solutions requires an understanding of the six variables that shape every deal. Expert negotiators have these variables embedded in their brains and are ready to us them whenever a the deal is in danger of getting locked into a single issue. Let's take a look at these six variables: money, time, relationships, product/service, volume, and situation. Knowing when and how to mix and match these variables in the midst of the give and take of a negotiation lies at the heart of the art of negotiation.

Remember, every deal has several parts. It is never only about money. Before you can become skilled at marshalling all of the variables, you must get them firmly implanted in your brain. Here's a little exercise designed to do just that.

Negotiations Challenge

Here are ten statements that one might hear in a negotiation. Identify which variable is being used to create value for the negotiator's position.

A) Money B) Time C) Situation D) Product/Service E) Relationship F) Volume

1. "If you pay the past-due bill today, we can release the goods immediately."

2. "If we have to wait three more weeks for payment of the past-due items, we need you to pay for the current items as well at that time."

3. "If we have to wait for payment, we will not be able to release any more product until the check is received."

4. " To allow you to delay payment for three more weeks, we will need you to send us a post-dated check."

5. "We will give you two more weeks, Mr. Customer, but don't let me down. I am making a special consideration in your case."

6. "If we have to accept payment arrangements, we will need to add finance charges."

7. "If you are going to make monthly payments, we can only release goods or services equal to the amount we receive each month."

8. "If you need a payment arrangement, we will need some form of security-for example, a personal guarantee."

9. "If you pay in full today, we can increase your credit line."

10. "If you need a payment plan, we will need weekly payments, not monthly ones."

Answers: 1. B; 2. A; 3. D; 4. C; 5. E; 6. A; 7. F; 8. E; 9. F; 10. C

Barry J. Elms is President of Strategic Negotiations International, Newburyport, MA. Telephone: 617-899-7746. E-mail: snideals@aol.com.